A Mental Health Slip-n-Slide Ride

I started out in traditional AA, not knowing about Secular AA for the first few months I was sober. I had what I thought was a great sponsor in the traditional sect, at least at first. When we arrived at the topic of anti-depressants/anxiety medication, she asked me if I was taking any and spoke to me about AA not believing in taking anything that affects you from the neck up. She drove the point home that the low dose anti-depressant I was on at the time affected me, whether I knew it or not, and I was not practicing true sobriety. Like many of you reading this, I have a solid history of anxiety, depression, panic attacks, etc. One of the main reasons I turned to alcohol in the first place in my mid 20s resulted from the fact that I couldn’t find help to treat my mental health. In fact, over the course of that time, I was given a response by three different medical professionals across the US to “Go find Jesus/church.” I was still somewhat religious then, but was floored nonetheless; obviously, it was completely inappropriate and it left me feeling totally defeated.

So, because I trusted my ex-sponsor’s direction re: meds & sobriety, and because I was on that high pink cloud, I was convinced to come off of my prescribed medication. Little did I know that my sobriety would eventually suffer due to this unethical and uneducated guidance. And there I stood, once again, with no mental health support and that same pushing of religion, this form as a “higher power.” And, once again, it did not work for me.

Once I found Secular AA, I fired my sponsor. I stared taking care of me – I attended weekly acupuncture and neuro-feedback treatments. I got involved in my Secular Women’s groups, pursued self-love, always reaching for more information and scientific reasoning. I was still not mentally healthy, but I was maintaining well. Eventually, I had to take a break from all of it due to other straining financial obligations and that is when my mental health took a major dive. I suffered terribly in silence and ended up giving in to alcohol for an escape from my pain after close to 10 months of sobriety. A great thing came out of this slip-n-slide journey, however; I sprang into action to take care of mental health! I saw my trusted MD, was able to give her honest and plausible information and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was given medication and a referral to a psychiatrist to be seen regularly. It was then I was able to pick back up and begin to truly maintain my wellness and sobriety.

Now, it is not my intention to promote medication or plead against it. It is my intention to express the absolute necessity to take care of yourself in a myriad of ways so that you have a well-rounded care system in place to support your ongoing sobriety. Whatever you believe on this subject of medication, please take care of YOU and also please beware of any non-professional, or poor professional advice.

Love & Light!